My time remains fully committed elsewhere, a state of affairs that will continue pro loco et tempore - however, new governments don't come around all that often, and it's only appropriate to share a few thoughts on them.
Danny Alexander is the new Secretary of State for Scotland. This begs the question - who's Danny Alexander?
Uncle Vince Cable, author of one of the worst books I have ever read, has been made Business Secretary. How a British Business Secretary can stay in post when they will have to recuse themself from any discussion of the oil industry, as Uncle Vince would have to do, is beyond me. Dave should have made him Chief Secretary to the Treasury after all. But then again, his appointment has kept Fatty Clarke away from the business portfolio, so we must be grateful for small mercies.
Liam Fox has been appointed Defence Secretary. Dr. Fox is a native of East Kilbride, Glasgow's Soweto, a town of 73,000 built on a mountaintop and thus entirely immune from the dreaded invasions from Cambuslang on one side and Clarkston on the other. It is to be hoped that Dr. Fox has outgrown the siege mentality.
Interviewed on a news channel last night - one can hardly tell the difference between night and day at the moment - William Hague, our new Foreign Secretary, made mention of Iran, and how he was going to discuss it with Hillary Clinton. As if we didn't have enough problems already. We do not appear to have an Iranian problem, other than any that might be imagined by small-eyed, bellicose incoming Foreign Secretaries - with great love and admiration for all my American readers, we do appear to have an American problem. The Iranians don't maintain any bases on our soil. The Americans do. There is a popular British myth that we have not been successfully invaded since 1066. I can't see the truth of it myself.
The new bosses look just like the old bosses. It was ever thus. We can prepare ourselves for the greatest single onslaught that the British Establishment has ever mounted on the poor, the sick and the weak, those inconvenient walking, breathing reminders of how ideologies fail. Those who are rich, healthy and strong will attempt to grind those who are not like them into the dust, and they will be cheered on all the while by largely useless idiot journalists who've never really quite grasped that their role in the system is to help sell advertising space for baldness cures and timeshare apartments, and not to act as opinion formers or as an intellectual elite. If the Liberal Democrats behave in government as they have behaved in opposition, then society's most truly vulnerable people, its unborn, will continue to be sucked out of the womb in appalling agony, and perhaps moves will be made to extend the time when an abortion can be procured to a point well past that at which the modern miracle that is neonatal medicine can ensure a premature child's survival. If the Liberal Democrats behave in government as they have behaved in opposition, the elderly will become afraid to seek medical attention lest they be deemed a burden to the system, the prospect of the needle in the arm casting a shadow over their need for care. There has been a very good reason why the Liberals and Liberal Democrats have not held power for nearly a century. They're too bloody dangerous, their views too lethal, for them to be allowed anywhere near it.
I think it's time that the UK had a Catholic Action party - don't you?